The next time you kiss someone, don’t use any of these lines from Ask Reddit.
1. You taste different when you’re awake!
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2. Do you want a breath mint?
I’m carrying something deep within me, something that feels heavy and haunted, something I’ve tried so desperately to control and manage on my own.
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3. So no head?
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4. I don’t know what it is. But when I kiss you, it’s like I’m kissing my brother.
5. Oh! I just remembered! I have to pick up my herpes medicine!
6. How was I? I’ve been practicing on my dog.
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7. I hope your other set of lips taste better.
8. My mom has the same chapstick.
9. Kissing all those mannequins finally paid off.
10. Does this mean you’re pregnant now?
11. So umm about the payment I need about 25, 100 if we fuck.
12. Why do you taste like aftershave and regret?
13. I can tell you learned to kiss from porn.
14. Thank you, please fill out this brief survey so I may better help you in the future…
15. Your lips are as soft as my cousin’s.
16. Did you just eat a burrito?
17. Where’s my tongue piercing?!
18. You will make a fine addition to my collection.
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19. I think I have to throw up again.
20. Let’s do it again, but without teeth.
21. Mmmm… just like Mommy.
22. I would prefer this never happened again.
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23. That’ll do pig, that’ll do.
24. When was your last dentist appointment?
25. Let me get in my fursuit now.
26. Well, now I’m not the only one in the relationship with herpes.
27. I just came in my pants.
28. No homo.
29. I’ve had better…
30. Wow, that wasn’t as bad as I thought!
31. You kiss better than your sister.
32. You can really taste the garlic.
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33. Thanks, I’m definitely gay.
