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1. Former 6th grade teacher here. I was there to witness one of my kids take his first big leap: at lunch, he asked the girl he had a crush on “will you go on a date with me?” She smiled and said yes. Immediately, the boy on the other side of her said, “Don’t go out with this fucker, go out with me!” She smiled AND SAID OK. Middle school is tough, man.
2. I teach preschool. It is very easy…they usually just say, you are so pretty, I like you. Today one of my kids complimented a girl that he has a (kid) “crush” on and told her how pretty she was in front of the whole class. Next, all the girls and the class were asking him if they were pretty too. He handled it like a champ and told them, “Of course, you are all beautiful.”
3. This is one of my most treasured memories as a teacher: I was a student teacher, so I was not prepared for this. I asked my students to write and share their own poetry. We focused on sensory imagery, and I had the presentations staged at the local university for a bit more gravitas. Some were funny, some were surprisingly beautiful, but most were banal, and the exercise was mostly boring. This one girl got up in front of the class visibly shaking. She was near tears for her entire poem. I wanted to help her, but I had no idea what to do, so I just watched like everyone else as she poured her heart out to a boy in the class who did not reciprocate. When she finished, there was a silence in the room, and after a few seconds which seemed to stretch out forever, one of her friends stood up and ushered her out of class as the tears began to flow. Nobody made fun of her, but the boy also didn’t show that he felt the same. It was just out there with no commentary. It is to this day one of the bravest acts I have ever witnessed.
4. I can definitely tell, and I always sit the awkward shy ones with their crushes. Some would call me a guardian angel.
5. I teach preschool. They tend to lack any sort of filter, so they’ll just say it outright, sometimes to me, sometimes to their crush: “Matthew is my boyfriend!” or “Let’s get married, Julia.” They will also occasionally try to kiss their crush. Today, one of my students Gavin kissed my hand & proposed. He’s four. It was adorable. I almost wish adult men were as up front (although I think I’d be a bit freaked out with a proposal).
6. Former high school teacher. Like it or not, high school students are children. They act like children when they find love, and you can see the toughest-acting football player turn into an 8-year-old who pinches the girl he likes and then runs away. The saddest thing ever was watching a young man, 14, attend a school dance with his crush. She abandoned him at the dance and he used one of the side exits to leave. I followed him to make sure that he was okay, and I stopped short – he was bawling – so I left him alone. Well, actually, I stood next to the door and when I heard the handle jiggle, I opened it for him. He and I talked about life for the remainder of the dance, and I could tell that he really, really did not want me to mention what had happened. So I didn’t.
7. I teach 10th graders. When I was student teaching at age 21, I was really well-liked and the students told me a lot of personal stuff, probably because my age made me more approachable to 15/16-year-olds. One girl, C, would spend her study hall in my classroom during my planning period along with about 5 other students who just wanted to get out of study hall. She told me that she liked a boy, S, who also hung out in my classroom at that time. From then on, I used to group them together in class on purpose to get her to talk to him and give them an opportunity to spend some time together. I would always encourage her to ask him to hang out or tell her about things he was interested in so she could start conversations with him about it. She loved him – I think he saw her as a friend but was generally clueless about her feelings. The saddest moment between the two of them was during my planning period/their study hall. Some of the other kids that hung out in my room during that time were off running errands for me, so it was just C, S, and I in the classroom. C was a pretty overweight girl, and she was sitting on the desk part of those dumb classroom desks, and the desk completely gave out, breaking and sending her falling to the ground. I immediately shooed S out of the room, sending him to get the maintenance guy to get the desk out. When S was gone, C started bawling and was absolutely mortified (I knew she would be, which is why I sent S away quickly). I talked her through her embarrassment and by the time S got back, C was cool as a fucking cucumber and totally brushed it off. We went back to normal conversation and I’m sure S forgot about it within minutes. My student teaching ended about a month later, so I’m not sure if anything became of C and S but I definitely still think about them sometimes.
8. I have this one teacher that will totally just say anything that’s on her mind. One she just flat out said “Do you guys like each other or what?” to these two kids in my class. Within 3 days they were dating and still are.
9. I worked in a kindergarten for a brief period between high school and uni and there were a couple of little 5-year-old girls who just walked up to the boys they decided they liked and kissed them forcefully, informing them they were now their “husbands,” but the one that sticks to mind is the little 2-1/2-year-old from my group. She spoke only a little at the time, and didn’t bother much with learning the names of the grown ups to any extent, but shortly before I left, they hired a really young guy, about 19, as an assistant. The girl sees him walking in to the ward for the first time and just freezes. She actually dropped her toy, and her eyes go round like saucers, her jaw dropping. It was both adorable and absolutely hilarious to watch. We introduced him and none of the kids were that fussed, but she just stood there, mouthing his name, whispering it to herself a few times to make sure she got it right. He sat down on the play mat with her and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. She offered him a toy which he accepted gracefully, and I swear she lost her breath. From then on, she loved him. She was quite shy to begin with, walking up to him at times, saying his name and then when she got his attention, she would giggle uncontrollably, blushing bright red and run away. If he took sick days or didn’t come in till late, she would get sort of depressed and not want to play much. All the kids played favourites with the assistants, little boys have their crushes and so on, but this one was a little different. It was as if she had decided he was her soulmate. He was so kind to her, and the kind of relationship they had was never anything that made you think anything creepy, he just couldn’t bear to reject her. In the afternoons he’d read to the kids for as long as they were willing to sit still and listen, and she always made sure to be the one to sit on his lap or next to him to flip the pages.
10. My son, who is 5, has a crush on a 6-year-old at his school. She says she loves him too and she is around him all the time. He told me just yesterday that he wants to build a three bedroom house with a room for him, a room for her, and a room for the baby they are going to have. I asked if he did not want to share a bedroom with her and he said, “A boy needs his space.”
11. It is painfully obvious most of the time. I taught college for a bit. Here are some of the things I saw: Continuous glances at the same person, Body language that positions the person closer to the other person, Interjecting into a conversation that the person was not engaged in to begin with, “Being helpful” more so for a person than for anyone else in class, Flirting (obviously), Boastful storytelling (a lot of times it is outlandish and very obviously untrue), Hanging around the other person uninvited, And “checking out” the other person while oblivious to their surroundings. What is funny is that most people think they are being sneaky or inconspicuous. From my vantage point in the front of the classroom, these things seemed so obvious as to be genuinely painful to observe. It was especially painful when the feelings were intentionally unreciprocated.
12. I work in a college and teach early morning classes to 17-24 year olds (mostly). It is painfully obvious who just did a walk of shame to class and occasionally who is fucking someone else in the room. The most awkward thing that ever happened was some guy who came into the class and interrupted a lecture to hit on a girl in the front row. He wasn’t even a student, just some fucker who walked by our (open) campus and recognized the girl through the window as the girl who he saw at Jack in the Box a week earlier. He comes in and just starts talking to her. I am in such shock that this guy just randomly walked in, I was speechless, and just stood there watching it. After about a minute I came to my senses and realized the situation. Here is this 40+ year old dude, tatted up with his pants hanging from his ass, reeking of booze and cigarettes at 9am, hitting on a very uncomfortable looking tiny blonde 18 year old. I tell him that this is my classroom and that I wouldn’t have him interrupting. He would have to go. He didn’t put up a fight, just asked when class was over so he could come back to “Mack him some.” I told him we were out at noon. We were really done by 10 and that was the last day of class. The day of the final, a week later, in a different room, I kept my eyes open, but he never showed. I asked the student but she only knew him from a single instance of standing in line in front of him at Jack in the Box.
13. I teach 16-year-olds. When a girl likes a guy she’ll draw hearts on his notes. When a guy likes a girl he’ll draw penises on her notes.
14. Oh man, the longing stares across the room. The almost creepy wistful “what-ifs” you can just see in their eyes. When I was in middle school, that was me.
15. Teenagers are not subtle by nature, but they are amazingly oblivious when it comes to matters of the heart (they are really perceptive with other things, though). The boys almost never recognize if a girl likes them, and the girls never realize a guy is showing interest. It’s funny to watch it happen — it’s so blatantly obvious as an outsider, but I remember being just as oblivious as a student.
16. I’m a substitute teacher and my favorite “student with a blatant crush” experience was with a 2nd grade class. I picked the kids up from the yard after recess and a boy came to me very upset because one of the girls had been chasing him the entire recess. Once we got back to class I talked with the girl, asking for her side of the story. Conversation went something like this: Me: Jose was pretty upset about something that happened this recess. Do you want to tell me what happened. Girl: We were playing. Me: He said you were chasing him, is that true? Girl: (Slight blush) Yeah… Me: Do you think he wanted you to be chasing him? Girl: No. Me: If you knew he didn’t want to be chased, why were you chasing him? Girl: (Huge blush, guilty smile, and hunched shoulders) He makes me laugh.
17. High school teacher. Depending on the kids’ personalities, they either get louder or quieter when their crushes are present. The loud ones are freaking annoying. The quiet ones are the ones I would purposefully sit next to their crushes!
18. Computer science/computational physics university lecturer here. Men tend to outnumber women 10:1 in my lecture groups. This has resulted in some… odd… scenarios, my favourite being 4 of my students simultaneously being exceedingly into the same exceedingly pretty woman who was in the realms of shy but unremittingly kind. She also happened to be a lesbian; I knew this, they did not. Of course, only two people could sit next to her in a lecture theatre, and an actual friend of hers usually took one of those spots. So the four of them would try to play it cool as she sat down, then desperately try to get as close as possible without giving the game away, like a single round of musical chairs where only one person can win but there’s definitely never going to be a prize any of the players want. It’s important to also be aware that these were nerds of the highest order, so at a certain point they were just running and shoving one another, charging down the aisle like the adults they apparently were. I was eventually forced to intervene and end the game when one of them honest to god vaulted a row of seats and nearly landed on another student. They deliberately avoided her after I pulled them aside, which was probably great for her, but terrible for me; I found their fruitless game a never-ending source of comedy.
19. Awkward story: my students are all between 8 and 10 and a few have noticeably hit the point where they are obviously starting to notice the opposite sex. I have two students that I’ll give fake names: a boy, James, and a girl, Lucy, in my class. They are always together: recess, lunch time, free choice, the two are always working together. They are both very shy and giggly and it seemed a mutual crush was there, noted by me and their math teacher as well. One day, I hear James getting teased by some other kids for his crush on Lucy. His math teacher and I pull him aside and have a talk with him. We tell him that we’ll be talking with the class as a whole about crushes and teasing (he’s not the only one). His math teacher also tells him that, if he does have a crush on Lucy, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about because she’s a nice, sweet girl. James just looks awkward and asks to go so we let him. A few days later, I’m walking my kids out to the parent pick up and I see Lucy’s dad is here to pick her up. James waves to both of them as they leave and I ask if he’s been over to Lucy’s house to play and if he knows her dad. “Yea, miss. That’s my uncle.” OH SHIT. I HAVE ENCOURAGED COUSIN INCEST. I awkwardly gather my nerves and start to say, “Ah, you remember that talk we had about Lucy and liking her? Ah well, I didn’t realize she was your cousin so-” “I thought you didn’t. That was weird, miss.” Then he just laughed and said he liked a different girl anyway from his older sisters class.
20. Miguel asked me (his AP Chem teacher) if he could write a message on the board for Mariela. Miguel was a former AP student and at that time a Senior. Mariela was a current AP student and at the time a Junior. Miguel, using elements from the periodic table, asked Mariela to go to the Senior Banquet; the biggest to-do at our school. And then Miguel asked if I would record it on my phone while he asks her. I said sure thing and I was glad to help – both were great people and good students. Miguel, during class, goes into this big long show asking Mariela. After he’s done, Mariela stands up, looks straight at the phone and says, “No.” She then sat back down. Before this started I thought there was no way Miguel would endure public humiliation unless he knew for sure Mariela would say yes. As soon as she said No there was nothing but silence. Miguel literally dropped his head and slinked out of the room. Mariela didn’t flinch. I die laughing every time I watch that video. Greatest moment of my teaching career.
21. Actually watched two students fall in love. I was a class tutor for one semester at my university, which is basically the pity job they give you if you’re carrying on your education and are too poor to eat every day. Music and Popular Culture, which sounds more exciting than it was, but it was still a fun little unit to do. I only had about 17 people in my tute, most younger but some older than me. They were great, knew I’d never done it before and we each made sure everyone got through it. The discussions were lively and nice, and everyone chipped in. One guy, I’ll call Jim, was pretty musical and outspoken, and he always seemed to be particular about arguing with another guy in the class, I’ll call him Joe. Joe was also musical, but one of the quiet and shy types. Dragging a strong opinion out of Joe could be difficult, but Jim always seemed to be able to press the right buttons and fire him up. Thank god for Jim. There’s nothing worse than a dead quiet discussion. Student presentations come around and Jim is doing his on how relevant music theory is to the average musician. It’s all about tacit knowledge and the mystique of being able to claim you can’t read music while delivering a stellar performance and whatnot. Class discussion opens up and finally, Jim and Joe are agreed on something. It was a bit of a laugh around the room, life went on. A few classes later, and I can’t remember how it even came up, but we were talking about representation in music. Mostly about Paul Simon and his world music phase, was world music a good way to categorise music, blah blah. The topic of gay musicians come up and we’re talking about that, how ambiguity reigns in a lot of musicians and how image feeds into that. Jim pipes up and says image isn’t a great indicator, because people are always surprised to find out he’s gay when he doesn’t come across that way. Everyone waits for Joe to fire back, but he laughs and says, ‘yeah, same for me.’ (It was a bit of a surprise, not that it matters. I’m gay myself and only suspected Jim, definitely not Joe). The next class, Joe and Jim are sitting together, and arguing as much as ever. I ran into them in the uni coffee shop sitting together and chatting. By the end of the semester they were holding hands as they left the tute. I imagine they’re still together, trying to make a living off their music, but that’s just the romantic in me. When I look back on it, it was so obvious from the very first lesson. Sickly how cute they were together, but still. I was only 23 at the time and not quite so jaded and bitter as I am now, so it was a nice thing to have happen. I never did any more tutoring after that, I pulled out of the honours course altogether, so it is my only story.
22. Band in high school is a funny place. Since kids are around each other a lot more of the time than the average student, they tend to get “band goggles”. It’s pretty obvious to see relationships blossoming. More often than not it is a good thing but every now and then you get the older upperclassmen boys going after naive freshman girls. And boy oh boy does it turn ugly quick. The drama can be outrageous. Most shocking moment: A girl who is an awesome student has been dating a true player on-and-off for the last year. She went so far to tell me that she got back together with him after he cheated on her. I’m sitting in the band hall watching kids practice. This sweet girl comes in the hall and is walking with a sense of purpose. As she passes me, she says something under her breath that I didn’t quite get the first time. Confused by what she said, I watch her walk up to said guy. She grabs him by the shoulders and spins him around. She says something to which he responds with a short answer but had that look on his face that he got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. She then balls up her fist and socks the guy 4-5 times and storms off. At that point, I realized what she said. “You are going to have to write me an office referral.” Best referral ever.
23. Daycare teacher to kids 6-11 here. It is probably one of the easiest things to pick up on. They try to play with the other, but they don’t openly admit to it. They spend a lot of time “near” the other, without ever actually talking to them. They sit at the same table, but try to talk to different friends. Basically, they spend as much time with the other as possible without actually becoming friends. If anything about crushes is mentioned, they immediately try to direct the conversation so people talk about them and their crush. And the second the two are mentioned together, the crusher blushes. I have this 10-year-old that has a pretty obvious crush on me. I mean, I’m a teenage male who spends 20 hours a week with her, so it is entirely understandable. I should mention that I don’t encourage it or anything. I treat her like all the others. (Granted, she is one of the oldest, so she does have more responsibility and she is able to have deeper conversations.) But, she tries to make my life easy! She will help clean, cook and take care of the younger kids. She does it to impress me and I sincerely appreciate it. I will say again that it is completely normal. I had crushes on baby sitters — don’t we all. I feel kind of bad for her now, because she puts a lot into it, but I know she’ll smile looking back on it as an adult. There is another kid who is… 6? (maybe 7 now) who has a crush on one of the 9-year-olds. I mean, they are not entirely on the same level mentally. First grade and 3rd grade are about as far apart as 3rd grade and 9th grade. Night and day. So it is kind of sad because he is chasing after her. She knows (I think) about the crush and it makes her a little uncomfortable but she is sweet about it.
24. Spit, snowballs and anything else you can throw at a girl is pretty much concentrated preschool love.
25. I teach English. I remember a star football player (senior) coming into the room to rap with me for a bit before third period started every Friday. In my third period a female student (junior) of mine who was extremely intelligent and very pretty (yet somewhat shy being an AP student and all) was sitting in the front row and always stared at him when he came in. He would talk about football and stuff with me and every so often I’d look back at her still staring right at him and smiling the entire time. She would not turn that smile off no matter who was looking or what anyone said. It was actually one of the cutest/saddest things I ever saw, seeing as how the guy never even turned around to notice her. If he did….who knows, maybe they would have hit it off. Maybe they did after they weren’t my students.
26. A couple met in my HS chemistry class room, this was three years ago. He was a junior in HS, she was a sophomore. They told me last fall that when the date is set, I’ll be invited to the wedding. Best example of chemistry ever.
