23 People Share Important Insider Tips For Opposite Genders

Found on r/AskReddit.

1. Sharing a queen size bed? Use king size blanket.

– MAYhien

2. If you keep getting the crazy ones, reassess what kind of qualities you’ve been going for. Applies to both genders actually.

– eraser_dust

3. Back scratches are lovely. Girls have nails making back scratches 10x better. Give more back scratches.

– slampiiece

4. There’s guys who can’t get a signal and there’s guys who takes everything as a signal. The latter is much more annoying.

– mantism

5. Being completely to the point is so much better than not bringing something up. If you are in a relationship you should be a team, and teams don’t work if both sides don’t have all the info. If something bothers you, say it outright and figure out a solution together.

Also, do everything to make the other happy. If both of you are doing this, both of you are happy. You get to do something for someone you care about, and you get nice things done for you. Relationships fall apart all the time when people start thinking about themselves more than each other.

– rundmcarlson

6. Both genders: Don’t guilt trip your SO into doing something they aren’t ready for or don’t want to do. Pulling the: “If you love me you would…” guilt trip phrase is a shitty thing to do.

Also. It’s okay if you haven’t hit certain life achievement as those around you. Your friends are all married with kids? That’s completely okay. Don’t feel pressured that you need to do the same if you are not ready to do so. All your friends have lost their virginity by high school or college? That’s alright as well. Focus on your own goals and not the accomplishments of those around you. There is also no shame in being behind or failing. We all move at our own pace and to find our niche in life.

– maplepan

7. To (straight) guys:

You’re not always going to get her off during penetration, and that’s okay. Don’t measure the success of PIV sex by whether or not she orgasms. A lot of women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. That’s not some epic failure. Don’t give her a complex. The pressure doesn’t help.

Stop thinking of orgasms as something you need to ‘give’ her. Most women know how to get themselves off. Give them the space to get it themselves or teach you how, and don’t get all freaked out if that means something other than her just pistoning up and down on your dick. It’s very possible the way she gets off isn’t something that’s going to get you off, too. No big deal.

The clit is not always something we want played with. It’s a very sensitive place. I know culture has been harping on this whole FIND THE CLIT AND FUCKING ASSAULT THAT THING crusade for years and years, but some women prefer not to have it jabbed like the fucking ‘A’ button on an xbox controller. Ease your way to it. Start slightly above or to the side. Or just ask.

– hurricangst

8. Become more self-aware of your asscrack. This applies to men and women. So many asscracks I’ve seen. So many.

– GahDehArmsRace

9. Slow the fuck down when it comes to foreplay! Believe it or not, repeatedly jamming as many fingers in there as fast as possible doesn’t create that pleasant of a feeling.

– DreyaNova

10. Dunno about opposite gender, but as a gay guy I feel like I should tell straight men: If you want your girl to give you oral, wash your fucking balls. Use antibacterial soap, wash your ass crack too. She can smell it all while in the general area. Don’t be afraid, it’s just an ass, washing it won’t make you gay or effeminate, get all up in the crotch and crack really really good. I have heard one too many straight guys say something really dumb like “I just assume water and soap drip down in there.”

No. Scrub. Every day. If you don’t smell fresh, nobody’s going down there.

– jaeldi

11. If he cheats on every girl before you and acts like a douche, he won’t change magically for you.

– Shugbug1986

12. Girls, we honestly aren’t all dense, we might just not be interested and be a little unsure of how to deal with it immediately. Yes a lot of us like it straight forward but we aren’t scratching our head looking for two rocks to bang together.

Truth is for me, I have a type of woman I’m physically attracted to. If you aren’t that, I’ll be friendly enough to you but that’s really it.

Just because I’m not attracted or interested does not make you unattractive or uninteresting.

– whosabooboo

13. If a guy isn’t responding (at all) to subtle hints of attraction. Be blatant; he may be fighting himself into thinking “a girl like her, into a guy like me? Never, her glancing at my lips is just a coincidence. She’d never let ME kiss HER.” Or he may have just not noticed. We are prone to that stupidity at times.

If hinting that you’re attracted to a man and his demeanor, body language, etc, do not change. Be BLATANTLY obvious. Like staring extremely noticeably at our lips for a first kiss. Just as many men have confidence issues or just get in our own heads as women, even very attractive men and/or extremely socially fluent men. Just because he can make an entire party full of people fall in love with him doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own self doubts.

I’ve psyched myself out more times I can count with women that I thought were attracted to me, and even when it is obvious I’ll talk myself out of making a move with any nonsensical thing I can imagine. I’ve even done this with girls I’m head over heels with when I KNOW they feel the same way. On that note, a single small but tender physical gesture can do wonders to push a guy like me to just freaking kiss you already. Something like when you take my arm playfully for whatever reason, lingering with a tender but semi firm hold on my arm (that way you hold on to someone that exudes so much passion that you can feel the raw emotion in the gesture) past the point we’d normally break off can move mountains. In the era of consent being a major topic a simple “go ahead” gesture can be very empowering for both people.

– halsterr

14. LADIES: Half the time your hints do not compute and 98% of the time leave you annoyed and us guys confused.

– JustDoItM8

15. When you ask us what we’re thinking about and we say “nothing”, 99% of the time we mean it.

– PM_ME_YOUR_TIGHTS

16. Make sure they have hobbies before getting serious. If they don’t…you’re their new hobby. Congratulations.

– Zinging_Cutie_23

17. Stroke the shaft, tickle the balls.

– Smellbag

18. Don’t play games with the opposite gender. It does nothing but hurt people.

– Surby

19. Men and women are actually not really all that different. There seems to be this perception that we are different species who operate under completely different sets of rules.

If you stop imagining that there is a particular way that you have to talk to girls, or that you have to behave around boys and just talk to them the way you would to your friends then life will pretty immediately become a lot less scary and intimidating.

Also: if you try and talk to a girl in a genuinely friendly and open way and she’s rude or dismissive of you, then you’re not talking to girls wrong, you’re talking to the wrong girl.

– butwhatsmyname

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20. Women who insist they don’t get along with other women are often the type who’ll fit into every bad female stereotype you can think of.

– bankergoesrawrr

21. To the guys: I don’t care if you feel like it’s a “feminine” thing to do, but cut your nails. At least clean under them every now and then. No one wants to see long, blackened, nasty fingernails. And women don’t want you fooling around down there if your nails are sharp and uneven.

– TheWeirdNerd

22. For straight guys: This is more of a personal experience, but I think girls like to be pampered in one way or another, regardless of how independent she might look like. It does not need to be a grand, big romantic things, but rather small things that actually count, for example asking how her day goes and answering the damn questions that she ask you, saying good morning to her and wish her a good night sleep, etc These are all the general things, you might want to look for special little things that you know she would like/appreciate. Lots of guys that I know do this when they are trying to get the girl to like him, but this eventually disappears when they do get the girl. DON’T STOP, because in one way or another, it breaks the girl’s heart.

– neptuneagent

23. Be cool. Have confidence. Love yourself.

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– NoRoofAccess