10 Reasons Women Prefer Masturbating To Sex Sometimes (Even In A Relationship)

1. You get to be selfish without feeling selfish.

When no one else is in the sexual equation, you don’t have to feel bad about prioritizing your sensual needs. Masturbating equates to freedom from reading signals. You don’t have to evaluate your progress at turning a person on or worry about how much longer you have to hold out so you can both reach orgasm. Relieved of the burden of tending to man’s body, you get to focus purely on your pleasure, and who’s more important than Number One?

2. You get to sidestep the communication trap altogether.

It makes sense to grab the wheel rather than guide another driver in steering your way to Orgasm Land when you’re way more familiar with the mechanics of the vehicle. Self pleasure lets you manipulate your body exactly as you wish instead of fumbling to translate the desire to be fondled or touched in a very specific way, or struggling to explain exactly where your clitoris is located. It can be tricky to find the words to explain what you want to a man, but it’s never tough to execute your own inner sex nymph’s naughty wishes.

3. You can get REALLY weird without fear of judgment.

Channel Natalie Portman in Black Swan and squirm like crazy all over your bed, or fuck yourself with a giant dildo. During solo sex, you can do whatever you need to to get off without worrying about how weird or “slutty” a guy might think you are. And since you can trust yourself to keep your own secrets, you can rest assured that anything that happens between you and the sheets stays between you and the sheets.

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4. You can dream (and scream) about other guys mid-action without a care.

We’re all prone to mid-sex fantasizing, but the risk of dreaming about being fucked by Jared Leto or your hot colleague or ex-boyfriend while you’re current partner is banging you from behind is that you accidentally kill the mood by screaming the other dude’s name out loud. When you’re flicking the bean, on the other hand, you can imagine whatever the hell you want and shout anyone’s name without fretting over a regrettable slip of the tongue.

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5. You end up teaching yourself new arousal tricks.

No one knows your body as well as you do. Through regular, dedicated self exploration, maybe you’ve already figured out exactly how to move and groove your way to orgasm within minutes. But there’s always more to learn, and pleasuring yourself is an easy way to experiment without complicating things by involving a man, who’s remedial understanding of the way things work will likely slow you down. The more you touch yourself, the more likely you are to discover new twists and turns along your personal path to sexual satisfaction.

6. You don’t have to worry about STIs.

You can never be too careful when sleeping with another person. And no matter how steadfastly you practice safe sex, there’s always the risk of contracting an STI by receiving oral from someone with a tough to spot cold sore (a form of herpes, in case you didn’t realize), or by rubbing your skin against someone else’s. As long as you wash your hands regularly, touching yourself is the most stress free way to tickle all your erogenous zones.

7. You don’t have to think about birth control or pregnancy, either.

Since you can’t get yourself pregnant, having sex with yourself is a surefire way to feel great without the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy looming like a thorn in your horny side. It’s liberating to get sexy without worrying if your IUD will fail, or entertaining the should-I-or-shouldn’t-I-take-Plan-B-just-in-case debate the following day.

8. You get to watch whatever porn you want.

The options in terms of free pornography are vast and varied these days, but men and women don’t always agree on what constitutes sexy, and some women would rather keep their specific proclivities a secret. When you’re alone in the comfort of your home, you get to Google whatever fetish or genre of smut you please without consulting anyone, quickly transporting yourself on the dirty fantasy ride you crave.

9. You get to play with amazing vibrators that make men seem pretty superfluous.

Technology has given the female sex a plethora of cool vibrators and other toys designed to stimulate and penetrate that are incredibly effective, not to mention user friendly (something that can’t be said about a lot of men). With so many awesome dick substitutes on the market to supplement a woman’s sexual experiences, an actual male participant really isn’t required.

10. You can get intimacy elsewhere anyway.

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Arguably, the one downside to masturbating is that you don’t get to connect with another human IRL. But nowadays, intimacy can be outsourced. If you want to feel less alone or you’re seeking at least the hint of a man in the room, you can always sext with your boyfriend, Skype with a like-minded male friend, hire a digital boyfriend, or play with a virtual sex app.