You Want To Know What It Feels Like To Get Your Butthole Bleached?

Let these people answer the question that’s been on your mind for the longest time. Found on this odd Reddit thread.

1. “I shit you not”

Oh my god, I never thought I would be able to tell this story.

I had my asshole bleached in a lab accident. I shit you not.

I worked all of last school year in Pharmacology, specifically studying protein bonding complexes in relation to breast cancer metastasis. To this end I had to cultivate a MASSIVE amount of in vitro cancer cells, specifically HeLa and MDA-MB. We grow them in this medium that lets them actually survive. However, it is prime stuff for making other stuff grow, which is bad. So, when we are changing medium, we suction it out into a container of bleach (20% IIRC). It was on the rack behind the hood I was using. I was not wearing a labcoat (before anyone says anything, working with nonhazardous cells, no one wears labcoats, at least in my department, you’re more likely to contaminate stuff with the loose sleeves.) The vacuum attached to the big GLASS flask holding the bleach made more negative pressure than it could take. It imploded, spraying bleach all over my back. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. More of it than I would like rolled down my crack. Holy. Fuck. It. Stung. I can best compare it to the feeling immediately following someone slapping you really hard on a bad sunburn mixed with spicy bowel movements. I held the honor of being the first person to use the emergency shower at my lab (yay!) and got to stand nearly naked in front of my coworkers. I got cleaned off ASAP. It gave me hemorrhoids, the back of my head was thinning and white, bad rash all up and down my back and backside, and I couldn’t walk right for a week. There was no lasting damage at all, no scars, or anything. I literally sprinted to the shower ripping my shirt off. The hair down there kinda fell apart up until the taint, where the flow of caustic evil thankfully stopped. I felt very smooth, wiping was easier. It felt a little prickly as it began to grow back. 2/10, would not do again.

TL;DR: Freak lab accident gave me the smoothest asshole ever.

I am probably the only person on the planet to have their asshole nonconsensually bleached by way of a vacuum pump while surrounded by cancer.

2. Something couples can do!

Ok, I have bleached an anus other than my own. I hope this counts.

I was dating a stripper (I went through a phase where strippers did it for me) and she came over one night and asked me if I’d help. She had gotten a treatment at a spa, then they sold her this gel to use at home. I followed the directions, wore gloves to keep from having anus colored fingers, and helped her wash it off after 20 minutes. She said it didn’t burn when it was on, but after I washed it off she said it itched and later it was like her asshole was on fire. We did it like 5 more times, once a week and it really did lighten it. I suppose I can answer any other questions you have about my ex-girlfriend’s stink star.

3. Confidence booster

I did it for my 22nd birthday because my buddies got me a coupon for a free bleaching as a joke which they never thought I’d use. I did it and actually really enjoyed having the knowledge that I had the prettiest butthole in the room even if no one except the lady who did it saw.

BTW I am a straight man. No regrets.

4. Makes you sort of flexible

I just bought some special cream and did it myself at home. You have to do it once a day though, for a week or two, with that– you can’t be buying that special junk they use at places that offer that sort of… service. That stuff is super strong so you only have to use it once but you have to have some kind of aesthetician’s license to buy it. Whatever.

Anyway, it was kind of a pain because you can’t really see your own asshole unless you use a mirror or are some kind of crazy contortionist, so I had to like… sit in a chair and fling my legs way up and use a hand mirror to see what I was doing. Then sit like that for however long it said on the cream jar. Let me tell you, sitting with your calves way up by your shoulders for 15 minutes or whatever is not super pleasant, even if you have your arms wrapped round your knees so you can use your DS to play Professor Layton and the Curious Village or whatever.

Then you had to wipe all the bleach stuff off, but you weren’t supposed to rinse it or anything, so then it was like… okay, now it just feels weird. I don’t know. It wasn’t really worth it. 4/10 would not buy again.

5. If you’re in the industry, you should get it

Not me personally, but I know that people do it because they think it looks better when a lot of people will be seeing your asshole. The darker skin makes it look more closely associated with poop, so the lighter coloring makes it look cleaner. It’s not actually cleaner (except maybe for a short time after the bleaching due to the chemical exposure), but it’s all about butthole appearance in some industries.

If you’re genuinely interested, you should do it at a reputable spa first to avoid chemical burns and other side effects you might avoid if someone with experience does it. You can get at-home kits and stuff, but read the directions carefully. Also be aware that it can take multiple treatments if your butthole is especially darker than the surrounding skin.

Enjoy!

6. Boost your sex life

I used a 2% hydroquinone cream once a day for a month. I did it for aesthetic reasons. I’m married with kids…. It looks nice for doggy style and we regularly have anal. I just feel sexier knowing its not dark.

7. A drunk bet gone…awry?

It felt like a white dragon breathing brown fire every time I do the poo.

I did it because I felt like a king while drunk and my friends bet to bleach all my hairs on my body which i proceeded to do.

8. Mood booster!

Not me, as i’m asian and have a perfectly pink and inviting butthole, which I don’t allow anyone to enter.

Anyway, my roommate in college was Indian (not native-american) and she wanted to improve the colour of hers.

She bought the products and applied it for her (with gloves), everyday for two weeks.

We took pics before and after and yep – significant increase in appearance and also significant increase in her bf’s mood and friendliness towards me.

9. Don’t like hair there

Honestly I can’t stand having hair in my butthole. I wish I could just have it smooth forever, being a gay man, I don’t prefer the hairy look.

10. For the looks

A lot of porn stars do it for a nice pink asshole, and because a lot of people see there’s. It doesn’t make it cleaner just looks better. I can’t see where it would be of use to normal people.

11. I feel the same way.

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