The 10 Golden Rules Of Sugar Dating (From A Real Life Sugar Baby)

1. Commit to an identity online and IRL

Are you a Southern belle? A hardworking small-town girl eager to leave her roots behind? A collegiate with big-time professional aspirations? The girl next door? A vixen who happens to prefer older men? A fun-loving young woman eager to travel and see the world? Zero in on how you want to portray yourself and curate your online profile accordingly, making sure to highlight your most desirable traits.

The idea isn’t to play a role, but to be consistent and commit to an identity that’s a genuine expression of your true persona—to be the best version of your authentic self. For example, if you deem yourself a girl-next-door, don’t show up to meet a prospective sugar daddy in five-inch heels and a dress with a plunging neckline. Wear something modest. You should always feel comfortable, but there’s value in committing to an identity badge as long as it mirrors who you actually are on some level. Believe me, they’ll be able to sniff out the phonies.

2. Do the work, and be patient

The initial phase of sugar dating is a lot like regular dating in that you have to find someone you genuinely like and want to spend time with. But a sugar daddy also has to be someone who can meet your specific needs. That extra layer of criteria (connection + the ability to meet your needs) requires yet more time and energy than dating the “normal” way, but it’s usually worth it. Sift through profiles, communicate with as many potential candidates as possible, and assume you’ll have to go on a lot of first dates before you meet the right guy.

3. Be straightforward

A lot of successful men choose sugar dating because they value efficiency and don’t want to waste their time, so sugar babies should be straightforward about their needs and expectations. They should also feel free to ask as many questions as necessary to figure out whether a specific sugar daddy’s desired approach, intentions, and expectations match theirs.

Early on, a sugar baby should address how often she’s available and/or willing to meet and exactly what she expects in terms of gifts, shopping sprees, allowance, help with tuition, credit card payments, vacations, housing, mentorship, etc. She should also be honest about why she’s choosing the sugar baby lifestyle. Sugar daddies like to know exactly how they’re helping out so they can feel good about their contribution to a young woman’s life.

4. Outline a specific, mutually beneficial agreement

If a sugar baby and sugar daddy click and their needs are aligned, the next step is to solidify the exact terms of the relationship. The more specific the agreement, the easier it will be for both parties to know exactly what their obligations are. Consider the following:

• What time of day will you meet up, and for how many hours?
• Where exactly will you meet (hotel, sugar baby’s place, sugar daddy’s home)?
• What will a typical date entail (theater, lunch, travel, long walks, cocktail parties, movies)?
• Will you hang out alone, or will you be seen in public together?
• When will you receive payment/gifts/etc.?
• How long do you anticipate the relationship will last?
• What do each of you consider a dealbreaker (failure to make timely payments, a last-minute cancellation, the discovery that you’re not exclusively dating each other, or a request deemed too greedy)?

5. Never get too comfortable

Months into dating the “normal” way, you might start to get comfortable and put less effort into how you dress and/or behave, but a sugar baby can never slack off if she wants the relationship to last. Be your best-looking, most pleasant self at all times. The goal is to be a top-notch companion. That doesn’t mean you can’t express that you’ve had a bad day, but it does mean that you can’t meet your sugar daddy wearing your favorite sweats (unless that’s what your daddy wants, of course).

6. Stick to the agreement

It’s a bad idea to cancel on a sugar daddy, show up late, or change the terms of the existing arrangement. The point of establishing a concrete agreement is to avoid unwanted surprises.

At the same time, rich older men tend to be extremely busy, so sugar babies should be prepared to be flexible about changes in their schedules. That might seem unfair, but it’s part of the unwritten code of sugar dating. Be accommodating—but only up to a certain extent. A sugar daddy should be wealthy enough to provide his sugar baby with her allowance or gifts or whatever’s agreed to in a timely fashion, no matter what. If at any point payment/gift-giving is stalled, consider it a red flag.

7. Be discreet

Discretion is the key to dating older, wealthy, powerful men. Always play it safe and assume that a sugar daddy doesn’t want you posting photos of him to your social media newsfeeds or discussing the specific terms of your relationship with anyone else.

8. Maximize the relationship

The advantages of dating a sugar daddy go beyond the initial terms of your arrangement. As you get to know him, figure out how you can use his expertise, influence, and industry contacts to help you get ahead—not just financially, but through networking and relationship building.

Think of your sugar daddy as a mentor, advisor, friend, and confidante—someone to learn from as well as a romantic partner.

9. Manage your expectations

It’s natural to develop romantic feelings for a sugar daddy, but keep in mind that this relationship is transactional foremost and romantic second. You might very well fall in love with each other, but you’re better off remembering that this is primarily about satisfying immediate, mutual needs.

Stay open-minded without getting too attached. To keep your emotions in check, keep a journal so you can monitor the evolution of the relationship from your perspective. Ask yourself:

• How do I feel about him and our relationship?
• Am I getting everything I need?
• What would I do if he dumped me?

10. Always have a Plan B

A sugar dating relationship can end at any time, so sugar babies shouldn’t count on never-ending support from any given sugar daddy. It’s wise to avoid being 100 percent reliant on anyone.

You should always have a plan B. So keep a day job or find an additional source of income, even if it’s in the form of another sugar daddy, and always save a percentage of your earnings.