Satire

Don’t Forget To Inspect Your Anus For Brown Recluse Spiders

Scientists are recommending that during brown recluse paranoia season (now), it would be prudent to spend an hour or two a day squatting over a mirror with a flashlight, inspecting…
7 Ways To Remember How Important You Are

1. Remember That Your Friends Aren’t Doing Well Either.
Criticism as Censorship: How America Is Embracing Limited Speech

“This is poorly written. This ‘article’ is bad. You should be ashamed.”
PETA President Allowing Poor People To Suck His Dick For Money

Shouldn’t PETA just donate money to the needy without hidden conditions or restrictions?
Woman Makes Spreadsheet Of Every Time Strangers Refused Sex

One brave woman (me) decided to make a spreadsheet of all the times I have been denied sex by men that I encounter on the street or while waiting in…
An Inside Look At Sarah Palin’s New Network

This show follows Bristol Palin around as she continues to capitalize on her teenage pregnancy while advocating for abstinence. Openly referring to her child as a mistake, Bristol is seen…
This Hamas Version Of Wondershowzen Is The Best Thing On Television

In a Hamas-led Gaza, the mouse is used to indoctrinate future soldiers of Islam; bred to die a hero’s death, detonating a bomb strapped to their chest in front of…
Before You Criticize The Death Penalty, Consider These 8 Benefits

I like justice and I like seeing people die.
Why I Only Shoplift From Mom And Pop Stores

Stealing is mainstay of the American identity, and I still shoplift to this day. Mostly for the nostalgia aspect, but also because I believe that it’s our responsibility as individuals…
How Nicole Solved An International Crisis With A Children’s Cartoon

The solution to the border crisis is simple: we gotta bleach all these Mexican kids so that they look like white people and we can sneak them into the middle…