1.
I’d like to see Richard Burton or Sir John Gielgud or Sir Laurence Olivier do “Macbeth”, memorizing all that dialogue, and have a boner. — Ron Jeremy
2.
People say, “Are you just acting?” Well, you can’t act when you’ve got a fist up your butt. — Marilyn Chambers
3.
Now I work with women who are younger than my breast implants. — Nina Hartley
4.
I think some people recognize my butthole before they recognize my face. — Bobbi Starr
5.
You can’t just say to your girlfriend, “I have to go fuck 500 girls in Eastern Europe. Wait for me here, please.” — Erik Everhard
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Horoscope For Today: Monday, July 27, 2026
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6.
Making eye contact during rough sex is roughly the equivalent to trying to read Dostoyevsky on a rollercoaster. — Jenna Jameson
7.
Don’t have oral sex with a woman if her vagina smells like a dumpster; that’s how I lost both my arms. — Peter North
8.
Be good or don’t get caught. — Traci Lords
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9.
You cannot blame porn….When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan’s Island. — Ron Jeremy
10.
Ugly people shouldn’t be able to handle food. — Kami Andrews
11.
People who substitute soda for water disgust me. But I swallow jizz for a living so who cares? — Asa Akira
12.
If you think pubic hair on a woman is unnatural or weird, you aren’t mature enough to be touching vaginas. — Stoya
13.
All the dick sucking from the past few days is not making this morning’s karaoke session very easy. — Asa Akira












