22 Unforgiving, Vulgar Pickup Lines As Told By People Of The Internet

For The Sin You Can’t Talk About

I run faster horny than you do afraid.

MAY 2025 CASH FORECAST

5 Zodiacs About To Be Hit With A Sunburst Of Cold Hard Cash

When you randomly come across some money: it feels like the universe is giving you a little gift, a reminder that sometimes, good things just happen out of the blue.

You should check if your zodiac sign is one of them here.

You make eye contact from across the bar and give her the “come here” motion with your index finger. When she comes over, tell her, “If I could get you to come with one finger, imagine what I can do with all ten.”

4. Leftovers

After staring at the girl’s crotch until she asks you what the fuck you’re doing:

“Are you going to eat that?”

5. RIP

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

6. Robin Williams said this

Horoscopes For Today

Horoscope for Today: Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Keeping expectations realistic is the name of the game. At 3:25 am, the Moon in peace-loving Libra squares Jupiter in Cancer.…

Tarotscope For Today: Wednesday, July 2, 2025

Aries Your card: The Moon Today, things might seem murkier than usual, but you have to trust your intuition right now—what…

Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

7. Hitting the gym

I see you like fitness, how about fitness dick in your mouth?

8. Okay, this one is funny

“Hey girl, you dropped something.”

“What?”

“Your standards.

9. The Weather

I’m no weather man, but I can tell you you’re in for more than a few inches tonight.

10. Sphincterectomy

Damn girl, you shit with that ass?

11. The chicken coop

Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

12. Ouch

I wish you were my big toe…

…So I could bang you on my coffee table.

13. Jelly belly

Hey girl, you ever had your belly button tickled from the inside?

14. Call the cops

“Is your dad in jail?”

“No, why?”

“Really? I’d be in jail if I was your father…”

15. Let’s go dutch

Hey girl, you wanna go halfsies on a baby?

16. Shoes

Nice shoes, want to fuck?

17. How you feelin’?

Baby, are you feeling down ’cause I can feel you up.

18. Stool softener

SHOP

Real Sex Stories

by Sylvie Quinn

Read our new book at the risk of getting turned on again and again. Every single dirty experience described is insanely arousing—especially once you remember that it all actually happened.