1. “Because I’m at work. Sheesh.”— Jordan, 28
2. “Because my prefered partner is too busy playing Rust.”— Sean, 29
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3. “Because I’m single and going to sleep.”— Bailey, 22
4. “I do not leave my parents house.”— Sophia, 24
5. “I’m stuck in the hospital…and that’s definitely the only reason.”— Miles, 30
6. “Because even if I wasn’t at work and neither was my wife, she probably wouldn’t be in the mood for it anyway. And that’s the way that shit goes.”— Leo, 32
7. “I have no need to.”— Andrew, 28
8. “Because ugly.”— Gia, 21

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9. “Who says I’m not?”— Violet, 23
10. “I just ate and don’t want to vomit up my food from the agitation.”— Dominic, 29
11. “I don’t think the librarian would look on that kind of thing favourably.”— Howie, 24
12. “I am at work and my wife is at home caring for a sick toddler. Also, I am tired physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Sex isn’t appealing with that much exhaustion.”— Ian, 34
13. “Fat. Lost 130 pounds still got like 70 to go. Soooooo slow.”— Wyatt, 27
14. “Because I’m anti social and went 2 years in a chaste relationship and I after we broke up I just dont care anymore too much adult shit to do to survive”— Solomon, 30
15. “My standards are higher than my looks, wallet, and personality allow.”— Leah, 26
16. “Deployed away from my SO.”— Josh, 25
17. “Because I have an ugly face and confidence issues.”— Reese, 20
18. “Apparently, you need another person for that.”— Zach, 22
19. “I’m at work. But I’m still on grindr and scruff arranging it for the first practical moment – friday night.”— Brayden, 27
20. “Girlfriend is living 1500 kilometers away in a different country.”— Bella, 25
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21. “Because LDR. Whelp”— Priya, 23
22. “Because my wife is 8 and a half months pregnant with twins….” — Isaac, 32
23. “Because sex is on hour cycling, twenty minutes walking and one hour train ride away. Edit: could this be the best triathlon ever?”— Reagan, 26
24. “Because I don’t care about it.”— Ruby, 22
25. “I’m roughly six months from formally beginning the process of becoming a monk.”— Will, 24
26. “Two-year-old won’t just lay down and take a goddamn nap already.”— Bristol, 35
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27. “I’m at the office and Helen from HR said it’s not okay since the incident.” — Brendan, 30