Boon Swaggler.
Updated
One of the most difficult aspects of being in your twenties right now is that, due to the economy, you’re not as famous or successful as some of your favorite celebrities were at your age. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re overvaluing yourself. Most likely you’re just underappreciated in your time and people are going to look back and applaud your work on Tumblr and Etsy.
The stuff you’re doing now, in your twenties, is what future young adults will examine when you’re famous.
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That’s why it’s really important for us millennials to remind ourselves that everyone has to start somewhere. It’s important to look back at our favorite celebs’ humble beginnings and know that we’re all going to be famous and respected too.
One of my favorite celebrities right now is Paula Deen. Her bravery and courage is unparalleled in the fat southern chef universe. With her outspoken views on the n-word and her comparison of her racism to Michael Sam’s homosexuality, Paula is uniquely herself. Paula got to where she is by never apologizing sincerely, and never being afraid to experiment with cholesterol or the n-word. But, like all of us, she had to work her way up to it. Dropping hard-R public n-bombs isn’t exactly square one–here’s a look at the genius, vaguely-euphemistic slurs she was throwing around in her 20s, circa 1911:
Boon Swaggler
Choglips
Fig Tiller
Moonchaw
Pinetar Momma
Chiv-ninny
Finchboys
Slimp
Rugloving Duneface
Earlicker
Creekborn Grease-tenders
Bootlilly
Soundless Handtalkers
Headtails
Ponkwood
Sadeyes
Midnight lemons
Shortfingers
Spicehairs
Leather babies
Elbow walker
Ash-dwelling Bogflies
Penny charmers
Poliomyelitic Roundfoot
Mulchboss
Tea-drinkin’ bench-funders
Junebats [tc-mark]
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