22 Unforgiving, Vulgar Pickup Lines As Told By People Of The Internet

Read more here on this Reddit thread.

1. Child support

“Are you a single mom?”

“No.”

“Would you like to be?”

2. Horny

I run faster horny than you do afraid.

3. Double fisting

You make eye contact from across the bar and give her the “come here” motion with your index finger. When she comes over, tell her, “If I could get you to come with one finger, imagine what I can do with all ten.”

4. Leftovers

After staring at the girl’s crotch until she asks you what the fuck you’re doing:

“Are you going to eat that?”

5. RIP

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

6. Robin Williams said this

Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight.

7. Hitting the gym

I see you like fitness, how about fitness dick in your mouth?

8. Okay, this one is funny

“Hey girl, you dropped something.”

“What?”

“Your standards.

9. The Weather

I’m no weather man, but I can tell you you’re in for more than a few inches tonight.

10. Sphincterectomy

Damn girl, you shit with that ass?

11. The chicken coop

Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

12. Ouch

I wish you were my big toe…

…So I could bang you on my coffee table.

13. Jelly belly

Hey girl, you ever had your belly button tickled from the inside?

14. Call the cops

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STAY YOUNG

“Is your dad in jail?”

“No, why?”

“Really? I’d be in jail if I was your father…”

15. Let’s go dutch

Hey girl, you wanna go halfsies on a baby?

16. Shoes

Nice shoes, want to fuck?

17. How you feelin’?

Baby, are you feeling down ’cause I can feel you up.

18. Stool softener

Walk up behind a woman sitting at the bar and ask her:

“Can I push in your stool?”

19. OB/GYN

Show me your genitals.

20. Poached

How would you like your eggs? Fried, scrambled or fertilized?

21. Politically correct

Yeah…you like that, you fucking retard?”

22. Peppery

I hope you like peppers because I’m going to be jalapeño ass tonight girl.