16 Signs You’re A Basic Bitch In The Bedroom

1. You read 50 Shades Of Grey and actually thought that was ~*~so spicy~*~

2. Your idea of kinky is wearing a corset.

3. You’ve worn edible underwear before.

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A Prayer for When No One Texts You First, And It’s Starting To Hurt

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4. You’re repulsed by men who use flesh lights but have no problem with women who use dildos.

5. You keep asking if they feel alright.

6. You’re obsessed with Victoria’s Secret and you buy your lingerie from the 5 for $27 sale only.

7. You use teeth during a blowjob because it’s just “your thing.”

8. You feel insecure over your partner’s fantasies instead of turned on.

9. The most daring thing you’ve ever done in bed is use flavored lube.

10. You get upset if you find out your partner masturbates.

11. Your sexual alter ego is Samantha from Sex and the City.

12. You fake orgasms instead of telling your partner how to please you.

13. All of your underwear are zebra print or in ridiculous colors.

14. You have an outline of a Playboy bunny on the inside of your hip from when you go tanning.

15. When someone talks about anal you say “ew.” Even if it’s not your thing.

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16. You don’t swallow.