“Actually, it’s Caitlun, with a ‘u’ at the end,” she said, completely serious and totally unaware that her name was one letter away from being an anagram of ‘lil cunt.’ I sat there staring at her. Here I was, 28 years old, and I was hearing another variant of Caitlin, a name that has been around my entire life yet had somehow escaped formalization. A name that says, “Look at me, I’m incredibly trite but I’m a stickler about the particulars of my banality.”
You would have thought by the time we worked through all the regular iterations starting with K instead of C, the name would have fallen into disfavor, traded out for the much more popular and refreshingly basic MacKenzie, but no, Caitlin and its variants remain. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the more recent Caitlins, all fresh for 2015:
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1. Kaitlehn
2. Keightlin
3. Kaytellenne
4. Chaitlamn
5. Chextmixln
6. Chautlaun
7. Khautloon
8. Kha-Al-Ta-Lan
9. Caaaaaaaatln
10. K8LN
11. K8—
12. |<@73|_3|\|
13. Cuntlyn [tc-mark]
